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Hansen action figure sales way up

Fiddle player Tom Hansen of local group Honky Tonkitis has a new reason to smile this week: He's going home with a lot of fans.

"Well, my action figure is, at least," Hansen says with a grin.

In fact, Hansen's action figure has been outselling the rest of the Honky Tonkitis action figures combined.

"The man's a whore," singer Johnny Maplewood rudely commented.

"He's rigging the system by buying them himself," accordion player Don Turner added.

"Except for the five I bought," Maplewood countered. "Hey Tom, you know why I smell like burnt plastic? 'Cos I threw them all in the fire last night, I hate you so much."

If sales of the Hansen doll continue at the current rate, the action figure should sell out by the end of the week.

"Sold out, hunh? See? There's another way it's just like you, Tom," drummer Kurt Weber injected.

Hansen had his own theories why his action figure generated such greater sales.

"I think it's just that people see themselves as the fiddle player. Young kids want to be in that role in a honky tonk band."

"It's because your doll's the only one that's not anatomically correct," Guitarist Bruce Dean snapped back, "They strip the clothes off the doll right away and wonder what the hell's wrong with you."

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Tom Hansen action figure: What kids want from a honky tonk band?

02/05/2013

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  1. 1
    Honky Tonkitis performs the Hamm's Beer Theme Song live 0:39
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  2. 2
    I've Been Everywhere (Wisconsin Style) 2:28
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  3. 3
    Honky Tonkitis Station ID 0:19
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  4. 4
    Barstools, Neon Signs & Old Milwaukee 3:01
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  5. 5
    The Sound of Drunk Dancers Crashing Into the Band 1:00
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  6. 6
    19th Nervous Breakdown 3:11
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  7. 7
    You're Humbuggin' Me-Live 2:54
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  8. 8
    Ramblin' Man-live 3:46
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  9. 9
    Tiger By The Tail (live) 2:47
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  10. 10
    Orange Blossom Special 3:34
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  11. 11
    All You Ever Do Is Bring Me Down (Bruce vocal)-live 4:44
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  12. 12
    Stop Playing Lawn Darts on My Heart (live) 3:17
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  13. 13
    Ace of Spades (live) 2:48
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  14. 14
    Dance the Night Away-live 3:55
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  15. 15
    Deep End of the Bottle Album in two minutes 2:07
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  16. 16
    We Three Kings 3:02
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  17. 17
    Little Boxes 2:36
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    The Race Is On-Live 2:07
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    Wasted Days and Wasted Nights 0:43
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    Five Feet High and Rising-Live 2:06
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