Honky Tonkitis

Here's where you talk to the band


For the last couple months, we've been averaging 400 hits a day on this website. What the hell? Where are all these people? Why aren't they mobbing our shows? Why aren't we selling out of disks? We have our theories:

beauty_pic-C_Conrad.JPG Chris Conrad: I made a little deal with a Chinese company that uses political prisoner labor to increase the daily hits on our site. Best $22.34 per month I ever spent! And, after twelve months, they send me a complimentary bride!

beauty_pic-T_Hanson_resized.JPG Tom Hanson: That's my ex-girlfriend, Starrie. Ever since the restraining order went in place, the only way she can try to be near me is through this website. Please, Starrie, I beg you, move on with your life. Don't make me take this back to court.

beauty_pic-K_Weber.JPG Kurt Weber: Uh, have you guys ever clicked on honkytonkitis.com? I did the other day, uh, "accidentally." There's pictures of farmers doing things with cows that are not legal in most states! Maybe Wisconsin. I think people just come here by mistake.

Don_Turner-p.jpg Don Turner: Is it my fault it I like to toss back a few brandy old fashioned sweets every night and see where my computer takes me? So what if I give this website address as the main place the ladies can reach me. Boo hoo, ya losers. Get your own life.

beauty_pic-J_Steffes.JPG Johnny Maplewood: Can't type. Fingers sore. Using tongue.