Honky Tonkitis

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Shocking news for the group Honky Tonkitis, Tuesday, involving fiddle player Tom Hansen announced a serious medical accident that has doctors and scientists puzzled.

The incident began when Hansen's violin was unexpectedly bombarded by massive amounts of Gamma radiation in a lab experiment. Although it appeared to have no negative consequences at first, it soon became apparent that any time Hansen began feeling stressed or angry, his 5'9", 120lb body was transformed to that of ragaing 6'6" 220 pound unthinking, hulking monster that calls itself "Conrad."

The first such transformation occurred on stage at a recent Bay View event after Hansen played a particularly sour note on his violin. Spectators observed Hansen grow agitated before suddenly convulsing and appearing to grow in size and stature to something more like a raging beast.

"I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes," bystander Brian Smith reported, "One minute he's a mild-mannered fiddle player pulling a great run on Orange Blossom Special and the next minute he's this giant with a guitar screaming, 'Conrad SMASH! Conrad DESTROY!'"

After a set of bellowing and playing guitar with the group, the humongous brute lumbered off stage, appearing to vanish. A short time later, Hansen was found backstage in a numbed state, wearing nothing but an oversized pair of purple pants.

Efforts to get an explanation for the incident out of Hansen only resulted in him providing a short response: "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

Police are still investigating.

Tom Hansen: Man...

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or Monster?

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