Honky Tonkitis

Here's where you talk to the band

Jukebox

In a shocking surprise, the Romney vice presidential pick was announced today on the website of local band, Honky Tonkitis.

“I’m afraid we’re going to have to hold off booking shows from now through most of November,” singer Johnny Maplewood announced, “because Kurt Weber won’t be able to drum for us while he’s touring America as the Republican Vice Presidential candidate.”

Weber commented, “People may be dismayed that the Romney campaign would pick a honky tonk drummer over a perfectly good governor or congressman. I was surprised myself. I've never run for public office. Heck, I wasn’t even picked as lunchroom monitor back in grade school. But I think I’ve got what it takes in paradiddles and flanges to be one heartbeat away from the presidency.”

When Governor Romney was confronted with evidence that the VP pick had been announced, he smiled and summarized: “I looked long and hard at the qualifications of all of my potential running mates. My long history of business experience tells me Kurt Weber is the man we need in the number two spot to get this country turned around. He’s decisive, he’s intelligent, and hey, have you ever heard him play ‘Wipeout?’ Man, that guy’s good!"

When pressed on whether the band is making plans to audition new drummers for a post-November replacement, Maplewood replied, “I’ve already got a call in to Joe Biden. I hear he plays a mean country shuffle.”

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Will the potential VP be giving the potential prez drum lessons at the White House of Music?