Honky Tonkitis

Here's where you talk to the band

Jukebox

In a move Monday that may damage his election chances, former Wisconsin governor and former Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tommy Thompson, has strongly stated that he refuses to turn over records of his purchases of Honky Tonkitis music.

“And the question is, am I going to release my history of Honky Tonkitis song buys? The answer’s no. No,” Thompson said. Pressed further, he says, “The answer is n-o. What part don’t you understand?”

The controversy might have ended there, if not for the fact that two members of the band had snuck into the press conference. As press took photos of Thompson, the musicians sang out, "I hope I don't get the clap," followed by Thompson spontaneously clapping twice in succession, much as is heard in the song.

TommyThompson.jpeg

"Get those two outta here!" Thompson roared as a chorus of new questions arose from reporters as to how Thompson was familiar with that Honky Tonkitis song.

"We just want him to acknowledge us," Honky Tonkitis singer Johnny Maplewood later told reporters, hours after being released by police. "Thompson says he's never even heard our songs, and yet we believe not only has he bought all three of our albums, but he's bought them multiple times. We've seen him at the shows! He's come up on stage and sung with us! Tommy, why won't you tell people you like us?"

State polling shows Thompson's chances of winning falls precipitously if he acknowledges an appreciation for any Honky Tonkitis songs.